Save me
by Portia.V
Summary: All is normal at Sacred Heart. But what happens when our favourite doctor is emotionally crashing and his beloved mentor has no idea why? -JDox goodness in later chapters, if you're not into that, keep on moving. Rated T to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

A sigh escaped J.D.'s lips as he woke up to a new day of stressful interns, flocks of patients and the usual rants from doctor Cox. He instantly knew that this will not be a good day, not because of the said reasons, but because today he was starting a new treatment.

Unbeknown to anyone but Turk, J.D. had been struggling with serious health problems since the age of 3. He was born with his left kidney smaller than the right and it had taken a toll on his entire childhood, as well as his adulthood. In fact, he could not point to a single spot in his life where he wasn't constantly troubled by all the antibiotic treatments he had to endure and their side effects. The problem he had always caused repeated urinary tract infections or, for short, UTI's.

When he turned 18, a blood test confirmed more damage to his health: he was positive for Epstein-Barr, a virus that caused his system to manifest allergic reactions, even though he wasn't allergic to anything. His immune system was so low because of all the antibiotic treatments that he literally felt in a continuous game of Russian roulette. If he presented another UTI, he had to be started on more antibiotics which would crash any progress he made with the other problem.

Today was June 18th, his birthday. He was turning 28… And his mind was on one memory alone…

-_24 years ago_-

"Mommy… Mommy, I'm sick…"

A three year old J.D. was shaking his mother's arm at 5 a.m. His mother woke up just as J.D. started running towards the bathroom. He emptied all the content of his stomach, thing that left him powerless. With tears in her eyes, his mother carried him to bed again.

"Baby, try and get some more sleep. I know you're ill, but I know a certain boy that turns 4 today, yes?"

J.D. smiled tiredly and drifted to sleep. His mother searched the halls for the doctor that was on call that night. That's right, J.D. was in the hospital for more research on his condition and his mother insisted that she stayed with him during this time.

"Excuse me doctor, but my son has been feeling really ill these past days. Are you sure this is normal?"

The doctor put a comforting arm on her shoulder.

"Yes Mrs. Dorian, I assure you that they are just the side effects from the antibiotics he is currently on. Since the virus we're dealing with here is E. Coli, it is a bit difficult to get rid of, especially since, in your son's case, it is resistant to almost all of the other treatments. We had no choice but to put him on the stronger ones that the virus was sensitive to."

She nodded and made her way back to the room her son was in to try and get a wink of sleep.

J.D. slowly opened his eyes to the light of a new day. He looked over to the clock on the side table and noticed it was only 9 a.m. Since his mom was still asleep, he decided to open the window and listen to the singing birds for a while. It was, after all, a beautiful Sunday morning and his birthday as well. Looking to his right, he noticed the park was already half full with other kids and their parents. The children seemed to be having so much fun… They all had wide smiles on their faces and the occasional laughter could be heard all the way to J.D.'s window. A solitary tear escaped his eye as countless thoughts, unfit for a 4 year old, made their way into his mind. Why couldn't he be like the children in the park?

"Honey, happy birthday!"

His mother went to hug him when she noticed that he was crying.

"John, sweetie, what's the matter?"

J.D. looked up and, with a quivering voice, asked:

"Mommy, am I not allowed to be like the others because I'm a monster?"

His mother gasped and could not believe her ears. With tears in her eyes, she hugged her son and assured him that what was happening had nothing to do with not being able to be in the park with the others. With a promise that they would soon pay the park a visit, J.D. wiped his tears and prepared for the morning procedure he had to go through, which was an urography.

Basically, J.D. had to lay still on an x-ray table, while a tube was inserted in the back of his hand to shoot a special dye through his bloodstream and all the way to the kidneys to see if there were any specific problems that caused all the pain and UTI's. It was also known as an intravenous urogram or IVU.

His mother, along with the doctor, explained to him as best they could that every five minutes he had to hold his breath and that during the procedure he had to lay still as well.

With tears in his eyes, J.D. told them that he understood and asked for his teddy bear, at the time being his only friend.

"I'm so sorry honey, but we cannot bring foreign objects near you during the x-ray…"

J.D. nodded and just looked at the ceiling as his mother stepped out of the room.

After the procedure was over, J.D. and his mother headed for the hospital lounge. As soon as they came through the doors, three nurses and his doctor shouted "Happy birthday, Johnny!". J.D. smiled widely and, even though it was a hospital, he couldn't have been happier that he actually got a cake and presents as well.

From then on, everyone knew J.D. as the boy who always smiled. Known only to him, the day he blew those candles, a part of his soul had actually died…

-_Present time_-

Only when looking in the mirror that morning did J.D. realize that he started crying somewhere along the way of this memory. He took a shower, changed into his scrubs and rode the long way to Sacred Heart on his scooter, Sasha.

Entering the hospital, he could already make out that it was going to be a busy day, since Elliot and Carla both had the day off.

"Morning, Scooter! Nice day for a prank, isn't it?"

J.D. rolled his eyes at the Janitor and continued on his way to the nurse's desk, where doctor Cox, as well as doctor Kelso were discussing a patient. As he asked Laverne for the charts of that day, he could hear something along the lines of "5 year old girl" and "E. Coli". He frowned, thinking that the memories of this morning took a strain on him. Just as he was about to see his first patient for the day, a whistle pierced his ears.

"Newbie, come!"

J.D. sighed and turned towards doctor Cox.

"Now, Marcia, I know how unfair you think it is that Barbie and Carla shoved their work on you, but by God, get it through your thick little head once and for all: life isn't fair. The reason I am repeating myself is because I need you to take on an extra case for today and before you start whining on me again, little Betty, you should know that Bobbo will have your soul if you don't take the damn case, mkay?"

While preparing for a wise ass remark from the kid, Perry didn't expect what came next. He literally saw the blood drain from J.D.'s face as he read the chart.


	2. Chapter 2

Her name was Selena Williams, she was 5 and was scheduled for an IVU early tomorrow morning. J.D. felt the world crashing around him and, for a second, he thought that he was going to pass out. Everything was a cluster of continuous noise and he felt that he couldn't breathe. Somewhere, as in a distant dimension, he heard doctor Cox's voice calling out to him.

"Newbie… Newbie! Are you feeling alright?"

Grabbing on to his voice, J.D. felt himself steadily returning to his body, as though he just went through an out of body experience.

Hating to admit it, Perry felt a ton of bricks filled with worry hit him when it seemed that the kid was about to pass out. Luckily, he seemed to be snapping out of it as soon as he spoke to him. As the kid looked him in the eyes, Perry could have sworn he felt a stab in the chest. J.D.'s eyes were filled with a thousand and one emotions, all passing at the same time, just before his eyes went blank. Not believing that he was about to ask this, Perry did it anyway.

"Newbie, how about we get some coffee before dealing with patients?"

At any other time, J.D. would have blushed three shades of red and start jumping in circles around doctor Cox all the way to Kelso's Coffee Bucks, but today his feelings for the older doctor, as well as every other emotion he was usually feeling, were hibernating.

"I appreciate your invitation doctor Cox, but I'm feeling a bit ill this morning, I think I'll just get started on this case right away."

Not waiting for a reply, J.D. started walking rapidly all the way to room 314, where Selena Williams was.

Perry was surprised to say the least. He didn't want to admit that he was either upset or worried because that would lead to the honest truth in his heart: that his feelings went far beyond deep for the kid… Letting out a small growl, he dashed to Coffee Bucks to get his morning vice.

Meanwhile, J.D. had the pleasure to meet the blue eyed, light blond haired angel that was Selena Williams.

"Good morning, Selena! I'm doctor Dorian, I will be the one taking care of you during your stay here. If at any time you need something, I'll help, alright? Now, is everything good, are you feeling ill at all?"

Selena smiled widely and shook her head "no". J.D. couldn't help but keep smiling at the sight of her. As he turned to talk to the parents, doctor Cox now joined them, also introducing himself to the little girl.

"So, Mr. and Mrs. Williams, beside the constant urinary tract infections, are you sure there aren't any other symptoms?"

"No, not at all. I mean, she keeps telling us that it hurts to go to the bathroom, but we've done some research and understand that this is because of the said infection."

"Indeed it is, but I have to ask… After she was born, were there any special mentions at all from the doctors there?"

Perry instantly realized that there had been, judging from the father's sudden change of posture, but the mother took the reigns again.

"Well, one of the doctors told us that he had noticed some kind of abnormality to her right kidney, but he also said that it was probably something that would pass with age, so we didn't really… Doctor Dorian, are you alright? You seem pale."

Perry quickly looked over at J.D., noticing that he was even paler than before, thing that got him worried again, but for now he had to settle other things.

"Ma'am, I'm sorry to tell you this, but have you ever wondered if that doctor was a complete moron? Or did you just figure that all doctors are gods that cannot in a million years make a mistake? Before I find some re_-heeealy _clever insults for the both of you, let me just point out for a second that the kidneys are among some of the most important organs in your bodies and any problem that even remotely crosses the "we're so screwed" boundary is, in fact, lethal. Great! Doctor Dorian here and I are going to give you nice people some time for that information to cross into your admittedly small brains, yes? Perfect! Newbie, let's go!"

Despite feeling dizzy again, J.D. actually heard doctor Cox and followed soon after. Perry said nothing and continued to walk, knowing for a fact that J.D. was certain to follow. After an elevator ride and some extra steps, they found themselves on the roof.

"Doctor Cox, what are we doing on the roof?"

Perry turned to J.D. with a frown on his face.

"Now listen here, Gloria! In the eventuality that you don't realize it yet, this is a hospital and people here need our help more than anyone else's. If by some chance you slipped in the shower this morning while looking for your mango body butter and hit that pretty little head of yours, you'd best tell me now so I know to expect these "pale faced" episodes."

J.D. felt his eyes burning, but not from Perry's rant since he was, by now, used to them. It was because, despite having feelings for the older doctor, he could not bring himself to open up more. He knew that if doctor Cox ever found out about his little (or in this case, huge) crush on him, that J.D. would never hear the end of it. Alas, another question popped into his head: did dr. Cox actually care? Slipping into his mind turned out to be a mistake because he didn't realize that his tears were falling freely now, judging by the shocked expression of dr. Cox.

J.D. wiped at his tears fiercely while mumbling barely audible apologies about having not slept well the other night. As he turned to leave, he was grabbed and pushed against the wall by the angry older doctor. After what seemed like forever, J.D. managed to find the courage to meet Perry's stare and was a little shocked to not only find worry in his eyes, but a streak of softness as well.

"J.D., I am only going to ask this once… What the hell is going on?"

Another wave of shock washed through the younger doctor at hearing his actual name instead of a girl's name or the usual "Newbie". But, despite Perry's growing concern, J.D. felt his heart close up even more as a new set of tears made their way on his cheeks.

"I'm so sorry doctor Cox, but I can't do this, not now…"

Without warning, J.D. pulled himself free from the older doctor's grasp and made his way into the hospital, leaving a dumbstruck Perry on the roof, his gaze fixed on the spot where J.D. previously was. Snapping out of it, Perry knew where he could find out what this was all about. Still not wanting to admit to himself that he cared about the kid, he stormed down the stairs in search of Gandhi…


	3. Chapter 3

Perry was storming through the halls of Sacred Heart and could not find Gandhi anywhere. Just as he was about to give up and force an explanation out of Newbie, Turk walked out of the OR with Todd by his side.

"Gandhi! You and I need to go into a deep conversation in the next five minutes or I'm going to call Carla on her day off and tell her that you and Gladys are, in fact, married!"

Turk rolled his eyes as Todd grinned after doctor Mickhead:

"You know what else is deep?"

Dr. Cox gave him a death glare while Turk raised an eyebrow and had a disgusted look on his face.

"Mickhead isn't straight five?"

"Oh, dear God…"

Perry grabbed a hold of Turk's scrubs and walked away at a fast pace to the cafeteria, knowing for a fact that it was most probably empty at this time. Arriving there, he shoved Turk into a chair and sat down opposite of him.

"Alright Gandhi, you and I are going to settle this once and for all… You're the only idiot I know who has to have an idea why Marcia is acting more like a girl today, especially around our new UTI patient."

Up until then, Turk just looked normal, but at the mention of UTI, his face dropped and he looked down. Perry could almost smell the information he needed when Turk shook his head.

"I'm sorry dr. Cox, but this is something that J.D. has to decide if he'll tell you… He's my best friend and I can't talk about this behind his back."

With that, Turk got up and walked away. Perry just sat there with a blank look on his face for about five minutes before his pager went off. It read "314 STAT" and his blood went cold for a minute realizing that Selena Williams was in 314.

J.D. was distracting himself by talking to Laverne, thing that rarely happened without snide remarks or jokes. Just as he grinned for the first time that day, his pager went off: "314 STAT". J.D. felt the run there taking an eternity. When he entered the room, dr. Cox was shouting at a nurse to get two sets of painkillers. His heart seemed to stop when he heard Selena crying her lungs out and he instantly knew what she was going through: acute renal colic. It was known for a fact that acute renal colic was probably the most excruciatingly painful event a person can endure. Striking without warning, the pain is often described as being worse than childbirth, broken bones, gunshot wounds, burns, or surgery. But J.D. didn't realize what it was based on knowledge. Oh no… J.D. went through it... Countless times, but right now he could only remember the first time. After all, it was because of it that his illness was discovered…

-_24 years ago_-

"Tag! You're it!"

Little J.D. was laughing at one of his friends for getting tagged as he ran off at a small distance. It was play time in the neighborhood and almost all of the kids were outside, having a blast. After some time of running around like crazy, J.D. got tagged by the same kid that he laughed at. Giggling, he started running after whoever was closest to him when a sudden shot of pain ran through the small of his back. He stopped dead in his tracks with obvious fear on his face. A second shot, more powerful this time, made him clutch his left side and start crying. All of his friends gathered around him, not knowing what to do. When the pain increased even more and turned continuous, J.D. started to scream, thing that got two older kids to run to his house and alert his mother. When she arrived, she felt a wave of nausea overcome her body when she saw just how much pain her son was experiencing. She gathered him in her arms and ran all the way home where she quickly dialed 911. The ambulance arrived in 10 minutes… 10 minutes that felt like an eternity of agony to her and even worse to J.D.

-_present time_-

"Newbie, for God's sake, a little help here!"

Doctor Cox wasn't able to administrate the painkillers because Selena was trashing around. J.D. knew she wasn't acting consciously and proceeded to hold her down while trying to talk to her.

"Selena sweetie, I know how painful this is, but you have to hold still for me so that doctor Cox can make it better, alright?"

The girl seemed to calm down a bit so Perry took this as an opportunity to finish the job quickly. The medication took effect in almost five minutes as she became noticeably tired. J.D. wiped her face with a cool cloth, while talking to her.

"Selena, I promise that I'm going to do my best to get you out of this. I know how painful this is for you and I know being in the hospital doesn't feel nice. But I'm going to be there with you in the morning and we'll get through this together, alright?"

The little girl was already asleep, holding on tightly to J.D.'s hand as he whispered a few last words, making sure that she can't hear, even though she was asleep. With tears in his eyes, he moved the hair from her face.

"You will not suffer through 24 years of intensive treatments, I swear to God…"

Unbeknownst to him, Perry was still in the room and felt the ceiling crash onto his head in realization: the kid actually knew what it felt like and he wasn't just trying to comfort Selena. But when and how? Is that why he had all these episodes ever since he met Selena?

J.D. wiped his tears and turned around with the intention of telling Selena's parents that they can go in. He stopped in his tracks when he saw doctor Cox looking at him with a puzzled expression on his face. Praying that the older man didn't hear his last words, he rushed out to send the parents in.


	4. Chapter 4

Hi hi, people! First of all, I would like to apologize for taking so long to update. It's just been hectic around here and I never found the time or the creative streak to do something about it. But alas, chapter 4 is here and no, it is not the end of my story, although it seems like it, hehe! We all have to know what happens next with our favorite couple and Selena, yeah? Anyway, I hope you enjoy the new chapter!

"Mr. and Mrs. Williams, your daughter just went through an acute renal colic which clearly indicates that the problem is most likely with her right kidney. Given the story you have told us, she might have been born with a malformed kidney, but there is no way of knowing for sure until we proceed with the urogram. The best we can do until morning is to keep her sedated enough for her to mostly sleep, or else she will be having another one of these episodes and that is the last thing we want…"

Doctor Cox did his best to act professional around the girl's parents, thing that was getting harder by the hour since Lucretia was supposed to be the girl's doctor and was, right now, probably hiding in the supply closet. He left the sleeping girl with her parents and stormed off to get some much needed coffee.

Meanwhile, Turk was getting some advice from Laverne on how to better care for a flower garden which he proudly started on the roof of his apartment building as a hobby. He froze as he heard doctor Kelso's annoyed voice behind him:

"I'm so sorry to intrude ladies, but last time I checked, small talk is only tolerated in the coffee shop. Now, unless you expect to get payed for wasted time on my account, I suggest you get back to work immediately!"

Turk turned around with a grin on his face.

"Doctor Kelso, I was actually looking for a second opinion… Do you think natural fertilizer is better for a flower garden than an artificial one?"

"Well, how the hell should I know Turkleton? I'm a doctor, not a damn gardener!" Kelso snapped before walking off. Turk sighed and walked off to find Todd.

Perry was returning from the coffee shop and, just for the heck of it, went by the supply closer to check if Newbie was around. He was a bit surprised when he found that he wasn't. Sadness or not, the kid needed to do his job. Anger boiling inside of him, Perry dashed towards the roof, knowing for sure he would be there. Throwing aside the door, Perry froze in place… J.D. was sitting on the ledge, feet dangling dangerously over it. Swallowing the lump in his throat, Perry got the nerve to speak:

"Newbie, what in God's name are you doing?"

All that Perry got for an answer was incoherent mumbling that went on for about two minutes, before Perry managed to make something out.

"..it's all it is…haunting me…past is haunting me…"

Perry frowned and armed with his best control, walked slowly towards J.D. When he managed to get near enough unnoticed, he grabbed the kid and pulled him backwards and off the ledge, thing that seemed to really startle J.D. He started to pull himself free from Perry's grasp, by kicking the air and dropping on the ground.

"Newbie! Get a hold of yourself man!"

"Let me go! I am sick of it, all of it! I don't want to hurt anymore, I just want it to end! Let me go!"

Perry dropped on his knees still holding the kid and was shocked at the words coming out of his mouth. What the hell actually happened to him?

"J.D. just calm down and talk to me, you're breaking my heart here kid!"

J.D. seemed to calm down a bit and looked at Perry through clouded eyes.

"Why? Why should this break your heart? Do you even care? Why should you? You don't even like to use my real name for Christ sake… I am done with everything; I just don't have the power to fight anymore…"

Perry felt his eyes sting for the first time since Ben died… With a trembling hand, he wiped J.D.'s tears away and whispered:

"You have no idea how much I actually care kid… And it hurts to know that I'm supposed to be your mentor, but you don't even talk to me about what happened. How am I supposed to know what to do when I don't even know what the problem is? I may act like a jerk at all times, but you should know by now that it's just my way of dealing with things… You brought me back from my personal hell once, J.D. Won't you let me do the same for you?"

By now, J.D. was beyond shocked and crying even more at hearing Perry's gentle words. The love he had for his mentor grew in that moment beyond what it already was and that's when he decided to confess everything he went through with his health to him. In all the time it took for J.D. to tell his story, Perry never let his arms leave the kid, his heart breaking even more at hearing the pain J.D. went through as a child and as an adult…

"And that's how it is, doctor Cox… That's why I can't bare for Selena to go through this, to never have a proper childhood. And I know people might not give it the time of day, saying that everything shall pass and they're just "some pills" she has to take… It just hurts so much…"

Perry held a sobbing J.D. realizing that he could never let go of the kid… Not now, not ever. Tilting his head up, Perry gently locked his lips with J.D.'s like it was the most natural thing in the world. And that's how it actually felt to both of them…natural. After breaking the kiss, Perry smiled.

"From now on, call me Perry kid…"


End file.
